Are you tired of being single and waiting to meet the man of your dreams in the produce section at the grocery store? You’ve tried it all – dating sites, apps, speed dating, and maybe you even went as far as setting up a kissing booth in the parking lot. You’re downright frustrated and ready to deem yourself “undateable.” Fear not, for I have not only a boyfriend perfect for you, but perhaps the most perfect man that ever existed. Voila, the Grow a Boyfriend!
Take control of your dating life and invest in the most wonderful man that you’ll ever meet. As the product says, “If you can’t find a date, then grow the perfect mate!” This made-to-order lover reaches full-size after being submerged in water after 72 hours. Your brand new bite-sized boyfriend has nothing but time on his hands to hear about your day, whine about how much you don’t want to attend your ex-best friend’s birthday party, or even complain about how he’s good for nothing and never helps around the house. And the best part – he’ll never talk back. Finally, the peace and quiet you’ve always wanted without the loneliness of single life.
Your Grow a Boyfriend is the perfect accessory to a dinner date, companion on a romantic walk under the moonlight, and even the best excuse to swat away jerks at the bar. “Please don’t bother me, sir. I’ve got my boyfriend here with me.” And, last but not least, next Thanksgiving when your Aunt Karen asks if you’ve got a boyfriend, you can finally say that you do.
For the incredible price of $3.99, you’ve got the man of your dreams. Plus, there’s no strings attached. When you’re tired of him, let him dry out until you’re ready to patch up your relationship and start all over again.